expectations

Everly's first Christmas. I was filled with excitement when it began to near. But I had no idea it would suddenly bring with it huge expectations on what Christmas should be like now that Everly is here.

I had big plans. Plans to make wrapping paper with Everly using butchers paper and paint, or maybe even wrap all our gifts in kraft brown paper adorned with a red pom pom. Plans to sit down and make my own illustrated christmas cards. I had plans to mix up some homemade playdough using this no-cook recipe to make little gifts for Everly's two besties. I had plans to sew an advent calendar, a family heirloom to be displayed every Christmas, with pockets that can be filled with treats and small toys - or even just cupcake cases with twine handles strung up on the wall. Plans to buy a real tree like this family and garnish it with handmade decorations.

Did I get any of this accomplished?
Nope.
And, I can proudly say, I don't care one bit!

This year has been all about HUGE expectations - namely 1) the birth of Everly and 2) the birth of myself as a Mum. Two amazing life-changing events that went very differently to how I saw them unfold in my mind. And it's taken me six-and-a-half months to figure out (with a whole lot of depressed days, tears, anger, frustration, soul searching and therapy sessions) that it doesn't matter. What matters most is those special moments - labouring at home, in my own space, surrounded by love and excitement... arriving home after those two endless days in hospital, sitting on my own lounge and stroking Everly's hair as she cuddled up to my chest... Mark and I gazing in wonder at the little life we created, just sleeping there so peacefully between us... her first smile... her first laugh. All those things, and so much more. They are what really matters.

So, this year, Christmas is our usual, stumpy, plastic tree, decorated with IKEA balls and tinsel. The gifts are messily wrapped in cheap wrapping paper. On the mantel are two Cadbury advent calendars. But I'm smiling. And I have Everly and Mark and my amazing family and friends. There's always next year for handmade and crafty (and I might even be nice to myself by drastically reducing that crazy Christmas To Do list.)

I did accomplish one thing I had planned - I managed to restrain myself from buying too much for Everly. We tried to focus on only four gifts (as suggested by Simplicity Parenting via Claudia) - something they want (Everly is too young to 'want', so this was the perfect opportunity to buy the rainbow puzzle blocks I love), something they need (a wooden activity walker [thanks Em for the tip-off], plus a small pull-along deer on wooden wheels, for when she starts crawling/walking), something to wear (a cute Bebe romper to wear on Christmas Day) and something to read (okay, so I did buy her five books...) But I'm quite proud to say all of her gifts are practical or sustainable. (Oh, except for the cheap-yet-so-amazing fluro pink pool I just had to throw in the mix - idea totally stolen from Claire!).

Anyway, the main point of this post was to thank you for visiting, for reading, for caring, and for your lovely comments this year. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas filled with love, laughter and happiness!

Here's to 2012 - the year of no expectations! x