MOTHERHOOD AND ME

In this space I have occasionally alluded to my experience of Everly’s birth, my postnatal depression and struggles in becoming a mother, but I have never quite found the right time to share my story in detail. 

When Josie asked me to contribute a piece for her regular series Mothers on Motherhood, all of a sudden the words came pouring out. I would wake suddenly in the middle of the night with phrases swimming in my head. In fear they would be lost with slumber, I would pull myself out of bed at 3am, quietly pad through the silent house to the computer and I would sit and type. It was cathartic; an emotional purging.

I admit, I am a little nervous sharing this. It’s raw. But it’s the truth. There’s so much more I can still write – about perfectionism, about (lack of) control, about struggling to combine creativity and motherhood. I hope to write more of my thoughts on self and motherhood in the future. For now, all I can hope is what I’ve shared today helps someone who was, or still is, struggling. Please know you’re not alone.

You can read my thoughts on motherhood on Josie's blog here. 

(If you have time, please take a look back at some of the previous posts in the series, too. There are some amazing mothers out there with incredible insight. My favourites so far are here and here.)

the face of birth

Tomorrow is Adelaide's screening of the new Australian documentary The Face of Birth. I am on the committee of the Homebirth Network of SA, and we have been tirelessly working to plan for and promote this screening for the past six months. I hesitated to post this here, as I normally don't delve too deep into personal matters on this blog (something I wish I did more of), but I changed my mind after reading Jodi's post about the film earlier tonight.

I won't go into too much detail, but instead send you over to Ché and Fidel where Jodi does a much better job than I could ever do in expressing her thoughts on the film. If I was to create my own list of points from the documentary that resonated with me, it would be almost identical to Jodi's - except I would add one more: the amazing words of Jan Ireland, a well-known midwife, who said:

'We don't lose many babies in Australia; we're very lucky because we've got good nutrition and good social circumstances. But what we do lose is a lot of marriages, and a lot of relationships, and a lot of people's mental health after childbirth'.

I haven't written much on this blog about what happened nine months ago. But as a woman who planned a homebirth because I felt it was the best location for me to achieve a natural intervention-free birth, who then experienced firsthand the negatives of the current maternity system after transferring to hospital for assistance, and who then suffered birth trauma and postnatal depression, this film resonates deeply with me.

You can find a list of screenings around Australia here.